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by FiveBoxes Staff | 2010-04-17 11:21 

One! One citizen of the U-S-A, ha ha ha!

the-count1-125x143.jpgHave you received your census form yet? We haven’t. Not that it matters much anyway. Government auditors are saying that computer problems could cause inaccuracies in the final count anyway, and internal government documents say that “some loss of confidential data is bound to occur.” Which is why we only intended on answering the only legal question on the census form: how many people reside at this residence. All the other questions on the census form are not Constitutional, and therefore should not be answered. And let’s face it: if the only data that’s lost is the number of people living at a residence, how confidential is that anyway?

Fill ‘er up

Love your car? Sue you do. Every red-blooded American loves their car. Cars are freedom. Which is why Obama & Co hate them. Need proof? Well, for starters Transportation Secretary Ray LaHood said that the US needs to give walking and bicycling the same level of importance of motorized transportation. So he wants us to take a normal 4-lane road through a town — the road that handles commuters as well as trucks carrying products to businesses — and take one lane each way and devote it to people walking and on bikes? Heh. Folks you think traffic is bad now, wait till this idea gets rammed down our throats. And it’ll happen because Obama & Co are in the process of demonizing cars with “green laws” and taxes that will make $7-a-gallon-gas a reality. And for what? Saving the earth? Well, Professor James Lovelock, the guy who developed the theory driving this eco-craziness, said in a recent interview that it’s too late to save the planet.

We say that if we’re doomed anyway, let’s go on a celebratory road trip. In a 1968 Cadillac Eldorado convertible, getting 2 miles a gallon, burning leaded gas, while eating Big Macs in the old-style styrofoam containers.

Coincidence? We think not.

As one of the Tea Party Tax Protest signs read: “If you’re not with us, you’re not paying taxes”

We couldn’t have said it better

From The European Union Times:

French President Nicolas Sarkozy as stating that President Barack Obama is “a dangerous[ly] aliéné”, which translates into his, Obama, being a “mad lunatic”, or in the American vernacular, “insane”.

According to this report, Sarkozy was “appalled” at Obama’s “vision” of what the World should be under his “guidance” and “amazed” at the American President’s unwillingness to listen to either “reason” or “logic”.

It’s “change” but not much “hope”

We fondly remember the days of Reagan and JFK, both of whom talked about the United States in glowing terms that inspired us to do great things, and filled us with national pride. Somehow, people got all starry-eyed with Barack Obama’s generic campaign of “hope and change”. Well, there’s no denying that we’re changing alright. But change isn’t always for the better, especially when you’re taking hope away. Like Obama’s “science & technology czar”, John Holdren, who, in a speech to the American Association for the Advancement of Science said: “We can’t expect to be number one in everything indefinitely.”

Sometimes we hate being right

To the gulliuble 52% of Americans who voted for Obama, the people we call “fiddytwoers”: We told you so. We warned you that Obama was the wrong choice as commander in chief. We warned you that he would weaken this nation. But you bought his self-aggrandizing ad campaign hook, line, and sinker. Now, he tells the world that if the United States is attacked by our enemies with a biological or chemical attack, that we won’t respond with nuclear weapons.


That’s like having a baseball bat, and telling the schoolyard bully, “if you only punch me in the face and break my nose, I won’t hit you with the bat.”

We hate to repeat ourselves, but as we said back in July of 2008:

Barack Obama apparently is unaware that there are only two modes of diplomacy: bribes and threats.

Time and again, history has shown that bribes are ineffective; they only work for a short period of time until the terms of the bribe aren’t enough anymore. Then you have to make the decision all over again if you’re going to up the bribe, or switch to threats, which history has proven time and again do work.

Currently, we as a nation are so fiscally bankrupt that we cannot bribe people any more, so to ensure our safety, our security, our prosperity, our sovereignty, and our liberties, it is essential that we maintain the ability to make threats, and make good on those threats if necessary.

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